Waiting for Savasana

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Paleo Sweet Potato Soup or Fun With Gadgets

A week or two ago, I tried this awesome recipe for sweet potato soup from Melissa Joulwan.

I tried it because it has bacon in it.  Bacon!!  We love the bacon.  I love bacon so much that I never order it at a restaurant.  Know why?  Because they never give you enough!  I can never have enough bacon.  My eldest feels the same.  We love the bacony goodness of bacon.

I was a bit intimidated by the recipe, mainly because I didn’t have quite everything I needed and I was in my pajamas and did not feel like getting dressed and going to the store (I told you I was lazy).  I didn’t have chives but I had some scallions for the garnish.  Good enough for me!  I thought I didn’t have chicken broth but I dug around in my fridge and found some broth I made just a couple days prior in my crock pot.  That was some hard core broth.

And Oooh! the whole recipe starts with frying up some bacon!

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Mmm…yummy.  I had to stop myself from eating it.  After I cooked the bacon, I removed it from the pan to use as a garnish.  Which is something I appreciate because I have found that bacon loses it’s UMPH when it gets left into most dishes to simmer and bake.

When I saw I needed to finely slice the sweet potatoes, I panicked.  But only for a moment because I remembered that we have a handy dandy food processor.  I always forget about that thing and to tell the truth, it scares me a bit.  My parents had a food processor they never used because my mom said “It made too much of a mess”.  But then again, mom’s always been a bit of a food Luddite.  She won’t even use her dishwasher because “It just doesn’t get the dishes clean enough!”

My husband says I need to forget my childhood if I am going to be happy.

So I pulled out the food processor and found the right blade. And got to chopping.  It was so easy!  And look at those gorgeous taters!

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Melissa’s recipe calls for Ras el Hanout which I had never heard of before but apparently is a melange of spices including cinnamon, alspice and other yumminess.  Lucky for me, I had already made a batch when I cooked a ground lamb dish.  I saved the blend in an airtight container and stored it in my fridge.  Why in my fridge?  I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea.

 

I sauteed the other veg and spice and added all of my stuff and simmered.  It looked like this:

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And then it was time to puree.  I was so excited.  I got to pull out our brand new big gun blender.  My husband is a Christmas baby and I was planning on giving him the new blender for his birthday…and then our old blender died in November so his birthday came a little early.  Anyway, I had not used it before.  He insisted on giving me a lesson.  There seem to be a few steps.  You flick this switch and then turn this dial SLOWLY and then the magic happens!

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Once I was done pureeing, I poured it into cute bowls and garnished with BACON!! and chopped scallions.

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And it was awesome!

I have to say that fancy pants blender really pureed the heck out of that soup.  Not a lump in sight and it was smooth and creamy.  Almost like you would imagine hot ice cream to be.

Everyone loved it. Everyone raved!  My boys asked for seconds.  The dog tried to eat some.

It was glorious.

I couldn’t have done it without the gadgets.  They truly make life easier.  And as far as the clean up, The Husband handled that.

I was in soup savasana.


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I Fell off the Wagon

I guess my 2nd Whole30 is not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be.  First I ate rice. (The horror!)  Then I drank wine.  And last night, I ate a big piece of birthday cake.  It wasn’t even my birthday!

Still, I have been eating a great deal of Whole30 approved foods.  However, that is not “doing the program”.  So I have to start over.  And the thing is, I don’t mind starting over because I know this is the best way for me to be eating anyway.  Hmmm…must figure this out.

Part of me feels bad.  Part of me likes cake. I am not perfect.

I don’t want this to turn into a spiral of shame.  I’ve got to pick myself up.

And also, I found there are to ways to spell Savasana/Shavasana.  Not sure which one to go with so I guess I will use both.

I went to a rough yoga class on Monday but I made it to savasana and I almost started laughing.

So I guess the journey continues.


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Ran Three Miles Today

Done.

It took forever to get the boys out of the house.  I wasn’t going to bring the dog but she got really happy when she saw the boys bring out their scooters and helmets.  I couldn’t leave her at home.

Yes.  I exercise even when my boys are home for winter break.  Are you kidding?  They need the exercise just as much as I do!

Tomorrow is a house cleaning day and no, I don’t have help, it’s just me and the boys (this means it’s mostly going to be just me).  Still, I wonder if we can pull out the bikes and go for a ride tomorrow.

The weather is one of the things I adore about California.

My yoga studio does not have childcare.  It’s times like this, I wish they did.  But we will do our best to get our exercise in somehow.

Day 2 of Whole30 is going well.  I even ate fast food today and didn’t break any rules!  I got a burger wrapped in lettuce leaf with lots of veggies.  That’s another great thing about California, In and Out Burger.  I don’t know what I would do without them.

So far, doing Whole30 seems easier this time around because I already know what to expect and i didn’t really go that far off program in December so hopefully this will be a breeze.

My mom is coming this weekend for her birthday.  It’s a big one.  We need to make some plans.


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Ready to Go

Ok. I’m up.  I’m dressed. I’m ready to go and already that little voice is saying to me, “You don’t need to actually RUN.  Just do a nice brisk walk and you’ll be ok.”

I hate that little voice.

I find most days that a part of me is constantly trying to talk the other part of me into exercising.  I wish my brain could just cooperate.

I don’t get why there’s a part of me that does not want to get going.  What is that?

It’s inertia, that’s what it is.  Plain and simple.

I need lots of motivation to do anything.  Yesterday, I found a really nice long sleeved technical shirt on sale for 40% off.  Hello incentive!  I’m wearing it right now and my brain is still saying, “Really?  You’re going to sweat in that shirt and you’ll only get to wear it for an hour or so.  And its so cozy…and flattering!  You don’t find shirts like that every day.  And you’re just going to go sweat in it?  Stink it up?!! What are you thinking?  Just be lazy and comfy in your new shirt.”

This stuff is hard.

And the shirt is very cozy.

Maybe I need a new incentive.

 


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New Year, New Me

Happy New Year. While I am happy to see 2013. I didn’t mind 2012 either. Last night we had a cozy time at home. Movies and video games. A nice family dinner. I had a final glass of wine before beginning my 2nd Whole30 today.
Yep, you read that right, no booze on Whole30. I was concerned that this would be a problem during my first Whole30 in November but it really wasn’t at all. There were times that I missed a nice glass of red wine in the evening but I didn’t crave it.
I like to stay positive when I talk about Whole30, so I will start by telling you what I CAN eat. You ready?
Meat, fruit and vegetables (except no potatoes, no corn and no legumes-Darn it! I still had to tell you what I can’t eat!).
And that’s it.
30 days. No grains, no added sugar, no dairy-including butter, no weird seed oils (canola, corn, grape) of any kind.
I switched it up and started using coconut oil in everything. Oh coconut oil. How I love you!
Was it hard?
No. Not like you would think. For me, it was more of a mental game. I got a lot of complaining from my subconscious in the beginning.
My first two weeks of Whole30, I craved cupcakes. Every night I dreamed of eating cupcakes. I would be sitting at a table full of cupcakes and just munching away. And then I would feel horribly guilty. “Hey! I’m not supposed to be eating these!”
One night, I decided I must be dreaming, so I tried to pinch myself and it didn’t hurt so I realized I was asleep. It was such a relief! I did not want to go off plan in any way. No way!
See, if you mess up and go off plan, you are supposed to start over at day one.
The prospect of starting over made the cupcake dreams seem like a nightmare until I pinched myself.
So what do I eat on Whole30? A lot of meat, quite a bit of eggs, a lot of vegetables and some fruit. Mid-afternoon munchies switched from a scone or cookie or crackers and cheese to a banana or some nuts (but not peanuts-they’re legumes).
My husband made his amazing salsa and I put it on everything. I dipped my meat in it.
I still drink coffee but I stopped putting sugar in it. If I need to change it up, I add a sprinkle of cinnamon or nutmeg.
It was tough initially but eventually, I got used to it.
I also bought the book “Well Fed” and with it, I learned to make some incredible meals for myself and my family. With sauces and garnishes too! My sons’ favorite is a little recipe called “The Best Chicken You Will Ever Eat”. They call it “The World’s Best Chicken” and I swear, they beg for it. Side dishes are vegetables. My kids haven’t even asked for pasta or rice. They don’t seem to miss it.*
*I need to clarify that my children are not doing Whole30. Their lunches include grains and dairy (cheese glorious cheese!) and even some sugar at times, but they eat dinner with me so they get to eat what I eat.
Whole30 changed the way I think about food. And it has changed my family too.
And yes, I had almost immediate results. I dropped ten pounds in mere weeks. It was pretty amazing in and of itself especially since after that trip to the endocrinologist, I had kind of resigned myself to being the weight I had been fighting for two long years. My hair was shinier. My skin was brighter. My eyes even look clearer than they did before. I’m also sleeping much better than I have in years.
There’s a science to all of this. The creators of Whole30 wrote an excellent book that explains all of our chemical and hormonal reactions to the foods we eat in their book “It Starts With Food”. I bought it for my Nook and read it at the beach in one sitting. Eye opening stuff.
But the most interesting thing happened when I finished my Whole30 and began adding in the foods I had eliminated. I will tell you more about that later. I’ll tell you now it was definitely an eyeopener when my new diet became a crazy science experiment.
And you probably think I ran to the bakery for a cupcake the minute I was done with my Whole30. But I didn’t. I still haven’t had a cupcake, even a month after finishing. Even with the holidays. Cupcake free! And I have a surprisingly good reason for staying away.
So today marks my first day of doing this all over again. So far, so good. Eating right and drinking my bubbly water. I feel pretty good.
I even got a workout today. I had coffee with a friend near my yoga studio. On a whim, I checked their schedule before heading home and there was a Yin class starting in 15 minutes. I’ve never done Yin before. It was ok. It felt like an hour of stretchy shavasana. Meh. I guess I like to work harder than I thought. Who knew? Whatever, it’s New Year’s Day. I decided to begin my year with a meditative whisper. That’s ok.
However, I think tomorrow is a run day. So if you see a chubby teenager running down the street with two kids on scooters and her crazy dog in tow.  Yeah…that’s probably me.  Be kind when you drive by.  We’re all doing the best we can.


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“Wow! You Don’t Look Forty!”

No. No I don’t. I don’t look forty at all. It’s kind of crazy. I am forty. I have a great deal of white hair that I color regularly. I have a crease between my eybrows and another above the bridge of my nose but otherwise, my face is unlined. Not sure why other than that I stay out of the sun and I don’t smoke.
I look quite young. It’s nothing I’ve done really. I can’t control it.
I’m not exaggerating or bragging. It’s just the truth. As long as my hair is colored, I look about 28.
And yes, I still get carded on a regular basis. Last week, the girl helping my younger son in the toy store asked if I was his older sister.
Ok, yeah, I admit that sometimes looking young kind of rocks. Especially when turning 40 has been such a surprising struggle. It’s nice at times to hear I don’t look my age.
The thing is. I AM 40. I look 28 but most days I feel about 63.
I guess I could go with that old SNL character…what was his name? Fernando? And say it is better to look mahhvelous than to feel mahhvelous. I guess you could say that. But what is the point of looking mahhvelous when you feel like poop?
And did I mention that I am somewhat chubby?
What is the point of looking like a chubby teenager when you are forty?
And what is the point of looking like a chubby teenager when on the inside, you feel like you are 63 on a good day, 82 on a bad day? And not the charming 82. Not the peppy 82 you see running marathons. No…I don’t feel that kind of 82 at all.
I am not enjoying this season. I want more. I want different.


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Another Year, Another Blog

Years ago, I was a mommy blogger, but then it got weird.  I realized that in all likelihood, my children would not enjoy reading my musings on their young lives.  And so with a bit of a heavy heart, I shut that blog down and I didn’t look back.  And I’m glad I did it too because now you can’t find a single item in the cache…although I’m sure it’s all out there somewhere.  I was relieved to get away from it all relatively unscathed.

Until this year when I turned forty.  Forty.

Forty.

Who thought I would ever get here?  Certainly not me.

I remember my mom turning forty.  I was ten.  After we sang the song and she blew out the candles, I asked her, “Does this mean you are over the hill, Mom?”

She rolled her eyes at me.  If I were her, I would have smacked me silly.

Forty has been a bit rough on me.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I celebrated my actual birthday big time.  We left the kids at home and spent a week in Europe.  We saved every penny, every credit card point and air miles credit we could scrounge to do it too.  And we had a lovely time in the City of Light.  It was glorious.  I even wrote “Forty is FABULOUS” on my Facebook status.

And then the vacation was over and we had to come home, back to reality.

And the reality for me is that forty hurts.  No really, it physically HURTS.

My back hurts, my neck hurts, my head hurts.  I find myself slower at forty, more lethargic and less involved in life.

Besides the white hairs that seem to be multiplying daily, I hurt in places I didn’t know existed before forty.

This year has not been easy for me.  It culminated in me breaking down crying in the endocrinologist’s office when she told me there was nothing she could do for my weird hormonal levels that seemed to be contributing to my weight gain and fatigue, despite my desperate battle to run from the fat monster that has been pursuing me for the last ten years.

I knew, walking out of there that warm July day, that I could not do this anymore.  I needed to change my life.

But there is one problem, I am horribly lazy.  No really.  I hate to exercise.  I hate to eat right.  I hate doing the work I need to do to be where I want to be.

But I hate being fat and slow and in pain even more.  Or at least, I think I do.

I hope I do.

I’ve started to run again and I joined a yoga center and have been practicing yoga at least three times a week since September.  I hate love it.

I have also changed my eating.  I did my first Whole30 in November and…yeah…I rocked it.  More on that, later.

But none of this has come easily for me.  And it is frustrating to see how easy it is to talk myself out of that 3 mile run and into a cupcake with cream cheese frosting.

Running.  Ugh! Running.  I love it and I hate it.  I’ve been running since 2007.  I’ve actually run a couple of full marathons and quite a few half marathons.  I run them very, very slowly.  But I finish, and my times are not humiliating but they are not great or even what you would call “good” either.  But I still do it.  I run.  Mostly.  I like my intervals.

You know what I love about interval running?  The walk breaks.  Mmm…delicious walk breaks.  I get one minute for every four.  Worth it.  So…worth it.

And you know what I love about yoga?  Shavasana.  Otherwise known as “Corpse Pose”. It’s the time you get, usually at the end of the practice, when you just lay there and do nothing.  It is my motivation. Sometimes, Shavasana is the only thing that gets me there and keeps me going.

So that is my intention for this blog.  I don’t want to sound melodramatic  but I feel like I am fighting for my life here because my body is very directly telling me that I have got to get off my tush or face some serious consequences.

I am starting Round 2 of Whole30 tomorrow and I plan to blog every day in January.  But still a big part of my brain is saying, “Ugh!  Really?  Can’t you just eat another cookie, throw in the towel and call it a day?”

We will see.  Bring on Shavasana.