Waiting for Savasana

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Pushing Through

I think I had the flu.  Fever, body aches, coughing, sneezing, runny nose, fatigue.  Oh! the fatigue.  Not fun.

Around day four I was worried I was going to die.  No really.

I had not felt this bad since chemo and the thing with chemo is you know most likely you will recover from the side effects.  They suck but they aren’t permanent.

It’s different with a virus.  The virus could win.  It happens.  It happens a lot.  And people die.

Every night, I went to bed thinking I would feel better in the morning and every morning I awoke feeling worse than the day before.  It just kept going until about day 7.  I woke up day 7 feeling the same as I did on day 6.  I slowly recovered.

It is now day 17 and I am still recovering.  I think I am working at 70% right now.  It stinks.

I remember when I was a kid, I would get fevers and sickness and it lasted four days, tops and I was back in school.  I miss my strong immune system.  Getting old stinks.

I found an acupuncturist here in MN.  I did not like her one bit.  She was inappropriately abrupt.  She accused me of lying about being from California.  Told me 408 was not a CA area code.  Ummm…yes it is.  Weirdo.  I need to find a new one and fast.  I miss California.

But today is Pi day.  I am off to the store for pie ingredients.  Later, we will go pick out glasses.  We all need glasses now.

I wish I felt better but I have got to get out of the house.

I did not feel well last night and ended up on the couch, crying because I get scared that the cancer has returned.  My husband got sick a week after me and he still feels badly too so he talked me down.  Scared and sick is a cruddy way to live your life.

And I am still taking the medicine so I never really feel good.

I am having a pity party today.  But I’m not crying.  Gotta keep going.