Waiting for Savasana

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Oh Dear…

Hey! I remembered I have a blog! And wow, did I ever leave my dear readers hanging with that last post.

In 2018, I got a biopsy in my groin because I have cuckoo swollen lymph nodes and my oncologist told me it was presenting as lymphoma. So, I had the surgery and the results were…

Wait for it…

Nobody knows! Seriously. They did not find cancer, just inflammation. They even sent the biopsy to Mayo Clinic where several esteemed pathologists took a look and shrugged their shoulders. They don’t know what is going on. Just that it isn’t cancer.

And so much has happened since then! I mean besides the poop show that is 2020.

Shall I catch you up?

In the fall of 2018, I decided to have major reconstructive surgery on my chest area. See, the implants my jerk plastic surgeon gave me in 2014 have been shown to give people LYMPHOMA. Yikes, right?

So I found a great plastic surgeon here in MN. Her personality is the polar opposite of mine. She is very serious, no nonsense and quiet to the point of reticence…but she’s really, really smart and seemed to be good at her job and not an asshole so I went with her. She told me that because of the radiation I had, I would need a serious revision to my right side. She told me the bare basics of her plan and I was all. OK! Let’s do this.

I was ready to go the summer of 2018. The thing is I was pretty stressed about it because my surgeon’s plan included taking muscle from my back and attaching it to my front to create a pocket that would hold the new implant. Gross, right? And my husband was not on board. He thought I had been through enough and should just be flat. And he was right. I had been through a lot and I did not want more surgery but also, I did not want to be flat.

So the morning I was to go in for my presurgery check up with my primary care physician, I notice a weird light rash on my back, just below my shoulder blade. I mentioned it to my doctor and she took a look.

“Umm…” she said, “That is shingles.”

What?! No!

Yes. Yes, it was.

And it was horrible. Surgery canceled. Summer canceled.

The shingles are, hands down, the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. Seriously, it felt like someone had thrown battery acid on my back. I kept checking in the mirror because the pain was so bad, I was convinced that when I lifted my shirt half my skin would be gone. But no, it was just this light, lacy, pink rash that looked almost like nothing. THE PAIN!

It was bad, so bad. And it went on forever. And, you may not know this, but shingles is freaking contagious to those who have not had chicken pox and I didn’t want to infect anyone so I basically quarantined myself for several months so 2020 is pretty much a redux for me. I’ve been here before and it is no fun.

During that quarantine, I spent a lot of time on the computer researching my family tree. It was actually fun and I learned a lot and I have managed to make a great deal of connections too. Many of my remaining questions have been answered. I just wish my first mother was alive so I could share what I have found with her. I know she would have been thrilled at my discoveries.

It took a long time to recover from those darn shingles and while I thought that would be the worst, it was really just the tip of the iceberg of 2018. I have so much more to tell you.

I can’t believe I left you hanging for two years!

Regardless, I am here. I am alive and I am mostly happy and doing well, all things considered.

What else can I say besides, stay tuned.