Waiting for Savasana

Calm

4 Comments

I went to the er in October for what we thought was appendicitis. Had a CT scan. Not appendicitis. Instead, I was diagnosed something weird and rare called mesenteric adentitis. This basically means that the tissue in my lower abdomen was inflamed. The scan showed that I have inflamed lymph nodes in that area as well. My oncologist was concerned. In January, we did a follow up scan and the good news was that the nodes had not grown but they hadn’t shrunk either. So now there was a choice to be made, do a surgical biopsy or wait and see and get another scan 3 months later. We choice to wait and scan. I had the follow up to the follow up scan this week and the nodes have grown. They’ve grown.
It is presenting as lymphoma.
I am going to have the biopsy when we get back from our vacation. If it isn’t lymphoma, it could be breast cancer. We don’t know anything at this point other than I am in pain and can feel some of the nodes.
And I’m scared but I know, worry is a wasted emotion. It really is.
There is nothing I can do until I have the biopsy. There is no point in crying or freaking out. It looks like there will be another fight but the fight is not here yet. It is creeping outside the door but it is not here yet.
I am researching hospitals and oncologists, trying to figure out what the next steps will be because I am a planner. Thinking about putting the younger child in summer camps. Wondering if he would do a sleep away. Summer will be here before we know it , after all.
I am going to save this as a draft until we tell the boys. They should not have to be a part of this until absolutely necessary.

I can’t tell you how much I wish I had just had appendicitis.

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4 thoughts on “Calm

  1. Thank you for sharing. I can’t imagine what you are going through.

  2. Hi Beth, I wish you had appendicitis, too. And I wish I could do something for you! I do have two friends living with lymphoma, but I hope you don’t have to endure anything more. Prayers and best wishes for you and your family.

  3. Beth – I wish you had appendicitis too. Looked at some of your pics from vacation and it was so great to see your smile – the one on your face and the one on the faces of your boys. You have an amazing strength and I know you will let the fight in soon. Sending you tight hugs.

  4. I am so sorry for what you are going through again. I do not know you but I always read your blog and always enjoy it but just wish it was a happier writing this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you Savannah. Fight the Fight.

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