Waiting for Savasana


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Hey, Guess What?!

I’m feeling pretty good! Only one asthma attack in the last two weeks.
Now for the bad news, my plastic surgeon had me go off Tamoxifen a couple of weeks ago and since then my breathing has improved…a lot.
I am actually hoping it is a coincidence because I’m supposed to take that stuff for ten years.
If tamoxifen is what is causing or influencing my breathing issues, then that’s just not a good thing.
I want to take the tamoxifen but I also like to breathe, you know?
Well, we won’t know anything until I restart the tamoxifen a couple of weeks after my surgery.
I’m having surgery in a week. My awful, horridly uncomfortable tissue expanders that I have endured for over a year are coming out and nice squishy “gummi bear” implants are going in. I hope it’s a good thing.
People are all ooh la la you’re getting new boobs, and I’m all meh. Whatevs. I’m still fat and my hair is crazy ridiculous. What are new boobs going to really do for me.
With that said, I am cutting down on the food I am stuffing in my cakehole. It was getting ridiculous. And now that I can breathe, I can exercise more so hopefully I can get it all under control soon.
My hair though. Well that’s another story. It’s crazy bad curly. Like I got a really bad poodley perm. And I have a mullet. Thank goodness for hats.
In other news, I finally did the sorting test on Pottermore. Can you guess which house I was sorted into?

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More Pulmonary Fun!

You know, I wish I could stop blogging about my health.  I wish I could go back to writing about bone broth and running and yoga and fun recipes.

But sadly, I don’t think that is going to happen for awhile.

I had my follow up CT scan a little while back.  I had it while enduring that horrible case of bronchitis and the results were not great.

The newest reading is leaning towards something called sarcoidosis: a mysterious disease that is basically an inflammation of the lungs or other organs.  It can also affect the eyes.  Now we don’t know for sure that I actually have this disease.  It could be the bronchitis.  It could be the MAC.  It could be an irritation.

I am seeing an ophthalmologist tomorrow.  Good thing I was due for a check up anyway.  My doctor told me to ask for the “full work up”.  If you get sarcoidosis in your eyes, it can affect your vision.  Doesn’t that sound awesome?!

So tomorrow is a busy day.  I am going to the chiropractor at 9 am, then I have an eye appointment t 11:15 and then I am meeting my plastic surgeon at 2:45.  I am exhausted just thinking about those appointments.  I am so tired of being a sick person.  It’s not fun anymore.  Ok, really, it has never been fun.  All those cliches about appreciating your health are true.  I got tired walking through Target today.  I am tired of being tired.

What’s that?  Why am I meeting with my plastic surgeon?  Because we are planning out my upcoming exchange surgery.  Yea!  I have been dealing with these uncomfortable tissue expanders in my chest for almost a year and it has become really annoying.  These things on my chest are as hard as rocks and twice as painful.  They dig into my chest.  When I sleep on my side, I wake up in the night with stabbing pains.  Tissue expanders are horrible and thank goodness, they are coming out in May.  I know I’m supposed to be looking forward to having soft squishy foobs after the exchange but I am so over it.  I don’t even care.  I just want to not be in pain anymore.

Back to the sarcoidosis conundrum, my doctor is curious to see what is going on.  She is inclined to to some procedure where they put me under, stick a tube down my throat and take tissue samples.  But here’s the thing, if it’s sarcoidosis, she will not immediately treat me (only treatment is steroids)  and if it’s MAC, she won’t treat me either.  We’re kind of hoping that my body takes care of this on it’s own.  So what’s the point of going under general anesthesia if she’s not going to treat me anyway?

The only way I think we could do it is if she came in during my exchange surgery in May and did the procedure then but that would mean rescheduling my surgery and I don’t really want to do that.

Are you confused?  Try living it.

I’m just fed up with it all.  I just want to feel normal again.  I know at this point I’m just along for the ride.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  I still need them.