Chemo starts tomorrow. I am scared. I am making myself stop reading the internet. It’s strange. People getting the same chemo regimen have different side effects. It seems some get sick on Day 3, some get sick on Day 5. Some can’t get out of bed, others can function. I don’t understand how it can be such a different experience for people.
Of course, I am fully expecting to get hit hard. I am hoping I don’t but I am expecting it.
My kids both got a nasty stomach bug. The eldest came down with it early Friday morning. It was bad. Lot’s of sickness. Then it was over.
Last night, as I was falling asleep, I heard the youngest talking in his sleep and moaning. Uh oh. I hoped he wasn’t getting it. He did.
Violently ill for most of the night that boy. My husband took care of it all. I felt bad. I can’t risk getting sick. Right now, I am sitting here typing with a mask on.
We have some bad luck.
My friend arranged for cleaners to come. They will be here while I am getting chemo. At least I will have a clean house to come home to.
Today, we are tidying. I took down all of the “Get Well” cards from the mantle and window sill so they can be cleaned. Wow! I got a lot of cards. Some people sent me two cards. One person sent me three.
All I can say is, Thank you, thank you. Those cards have given me a lot of comfort and hope. Words can not describe how grateful I am for the support I have received. I plan to do something crafty with those cards but for now I have them in a pretty bag in my room. I feel happy just thinking about them.
I really have nothing to write today other than that I am very scared…and worried. But I know this is just something I have to get through. Just like everything else.
A part of me is still hoping I wake up from this very bad dream.
Tomorrow, I will put on my big girl pants and go sit in a chair and take my medicine. If you can, please think of me.