Waiting for Savasana


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Last Chemo Tomorrow

Thank goodness.  Seriously.

We are bringing a surprise for the nurses and receptionists that have been so kind to us during these last 14 weeks.

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Nurses like cupcakes, right?

I don’t feel much like celebrating.  I will celebrate in about 2 weeks when I am on the mend.  I can not wait to say goodbye to this phase in my life.

Seriously, chemo is the worst.

Here is me in January of this year.  I was feeling great.  Just came off running two back to back half marathons.  I was doing my favorite Bikram Yoga or some other kind of yoga almost daily.  I had changed my diet dramatically.  Best I ever felt in my life.  But I had breast cancer and didn’t know it.

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Here is me after my first chemo.  We were buzzing my hair to about an inch because I knew it was going soon and I just couldn’t deal anymore.  I was feeling ok as you can see from my smile.

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And here is me now.  I’ve been poisoned!

I’m bald  and eyebrowless and moon faced and chubby (from steroids!  I swear it’s the steroids!  Nom nom nom  What’s that?  A cookie?!).

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Look at me!  I mean, WHO is that?!!!  That can’t be me.  No way! I barely recognize myself most days.  But today I was wearing the blue wig and I caught a sparkle in my eye in the car mirror and said out loud, “Oh!  There I am!” So I know I’m still alive.  I’m still alive.  Really, I am.

This is for the birds people.  But I can assure you, I will live to fight another day and someday soon, I will run again and be a regular at the yoga studio.  I will take back my life and my body.  None of this is going to beat me.

This I promise.

Until then, I have a feeling the next two weeks are going to be rough.  Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and (if you are so inclined) prayers.  We still need your good wishes.  Thank you for sticking with us this far.

I went to church yesterday and at the end of service we sang this song that always makes me cry and I found a Muppet version.  Enjoy!

Lyrics by David Pomeranz

It’s in every one of us to be wise
Find your heart
And open up both your eyes
We can all know every thing
Without ever knowing why
It’s in every one of us by and by

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